I was wondering how long it would take the Google to find me on the internet – it’s such a vast, vast place, you know. So I Googled myself to find out.
Turns out, it only took the giant robotic overlord like a day to pinpoint my whereabouts. Which is pretty impressive, considering that this thing currently consists of my name, a couple links, and not much else. Way to go, Googs.
What’s more worrisome is the search results that land above this shriveled up corner of the interweb. Tables of contents from Beer Advocate issues past? Fair enough. I’m all over that thing, even if there is no actual content to access. Hill and the Hall archives? Awesome. Great stuff. It should be your one and only source for local political news and gossip; if it doesn’t wind up in this column every Friday at noon, it probably wasn’t worth knowing, anyway.
A couple of the other results are more problematic. There’s a link to me getting completely shithoused on Jim Braude’s News IQ show. Not my finest moment. (After that scene was repeated last Friday, I received some comforting words – “We’ll keep having you on until you win.”)
And then there’s this. Sitting right up top there. Result #2. “Adrian Walker is a moron.” It’s like Google has a brain, and the first thing it wants the world to know about me is that I occasionally have to drink for a living, and the second is that I’m just a bit of an asshole. Why else would a five-month old blog rant about a Globe metro column that nobody remembers anymore land higher up – and therefore be of more informational value to you, the public – than my day job? “Shit[ting] out bad logic for the city’s biggest daily”? That’s just mean.
Although, to be fair, that tank picture is still pretty hilarious.